


When the Evening Shadows and the Stars Appear

by vinewood



Series: You Know I'm Yours For the Taking [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinewood/pseuds/vinewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel Barbara Berry is sixteen years old when her family falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Evening Shadows and the Stars Appear

**Author's Note:**

> AU. If I had to set a timetable for this then I suppose it would be sometime in the first season before Beth's conception. Beth does not exist in this universe. I've had this on my back burner for a while now. It started off as a personal gift to a friend which then ballooned into the first of a series of drabbles.
> 
> Also, Rachel's middle name is spelled Barbara because Barbra Streisand was born Barbara Streisand; she changed the spelling because, "I hated the name, but I refused to change it."

**Rachel Barbara Berry is sixteen years old when her family falls apart.**

The break-up is long-time coming.

Her daddies don’t love each other anymore, they haven’t for a long time, and they only stayed together for her sake.  Except, of course, for the fact that she has benefited very little from their feeble attempts to remain a family.

Dad comes back from a business trip two days after her birthday, sits her down in the living room and tells her- plainly and without much finesse- that he has accepted a promotion at work and that his new job will take him away from Lima and to Chicago.

She is surprised.  Rachel remains quiet for a few minutes as her mind processes the information.  Making a move from Ohio to Illinois in the middle of the school year is not advisable, especially during her academically significant junior year, but just as Rachel begins to assemble a well-rounded plan, her dad shatters her dreams when he adds,

“You’re staying with your father.  I’m going alone.”

Rachel accepts her dismissal from his life with poise.  She’s been fading from his radar for years; disappearing from his life plan is not entirely surprising.  She rises to her feet and offers him her hand- and tries not to seem too smug when he looks at her with astonishment.

“Good luck, Gregory,” she says and then turns around and walks out of the room.

She feels a small measure of satisfaction at the fact that he was expecting tears, hugs, and kisses and received only a handshake but Rachel cannot bring herself to smile.

Her heart is much too pained at the knowledge that she is once again getting left behind.

Rachel wonders if she will ever be enough for somebody to _stay_.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is seventeen years old when she buries her father.**

The cemetery is cold and wet in the December afternoon.

She sits on an uncomfortable folding chair at her daddy’s gravesite, dressed head to toe in black- black jersey dress and black tights under an embroidered black coat, black shoes and gloves.  Her hair is pinned into a pretty chignon and topped off with a woolen beret.

Her bubbie sits at the end of the row, weeping into a handkerchief and clutching tightly to Uncle Eli’s hand.  To her left she can see Aunt Irene reminding Eva to sit up straight; to her right, Max remains pressed tightly against her.

She feels a hand rest on the back of the chair, and the soft scent of lavender envelops her.  Rachel reaches up and takes the small, gloved hand in her own.  Delicate fingers curl around hers, and suddenly Rachel feels as though everything is going to be just fine.

The service is short; Rachel doesn’t cry.  She’s shed so many tears during the past few years of her daddy’s illness, and most especially during the last eleven months, that Rachel doesn’t think she has any tears left.  She touches the casket just before they lower it into the ground and then makes her way to the car through the crowd of mourners cushioned between the warm, protective presence of her cousin-turned-guardian Max, and her tormentor-turned-best friend Santana.  Gregory Berry doesn’t show.

With the exception of Santana, who practically lives at the Berry-Lieberthal house, the only two glee club members who make _shiva_ calls are Noah and Quinn.

She moves to New York City a mere six months later.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-one years old when she graduates college.**

She turns down Juilliard.

She chooses instead to matriculate at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts.  She takes advantage of all of the opportunities available through the school and in the city.  Rachel gets a job at Bobst Library even though she is well-off financially.

She excels in her classes where her talents are appreciated and not stifled.  She makes several friends (people who do not resent her gifts) and stars in many theatrical productions where she receives flowers and cheers after her performances instead of the criticism and jeers she was given back in Lima.

Ever present in the front row at every opening and closing performance is Santana.  Rachel shines brighter than ever for those shows.

What little is left of her family sits next to Santana’s ailing father at Yankee Stadium and cheers as she and the Latina graduate college.  After commencement, Rachel and Santana hug and kiss their friends, confirm plans, and walk hand in hand to meet their families.

They celebrate with a late lunch at the one-bedroom apartment she shares with Santana in the Village.  There is barely enough space for everyone in the living room but nobody complains as Aunt Irene dishes out the food she helped Tomás López prepare.

Santana sits beside her father on the loveseat and helps guide the fork he holds in his shaking hand to his mouth.  For a moment all Rachel can think of is helping daddy do the same and she smiles wistfully.

The sun sets as Uncle Eli, Aunt Irene, Eva and Max file out of the apartment.  They have a train to catch to Washington D.C. the next morning for Eva’s Georgetown graduation.  She receives warms hugs and soft kisses from each.

“Your abba, bubbie, and zayde are so _proud_ of you,” Max whispers.  “Mazel tov, Rachel.”

Tomás remains.  Both young women curl up on either side of him on the couch and regale him with stories of Manhattan.  He smiles kindly.

Despite Tomás having a hotel room booked, Rachel and Santana insist that he stay with them through the night.  Rachel sets him up in Santana’s bed on left side of the bedroom while she curls up with Santana on her own mattress.

She wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of choking.  She jumps out of bed because the noise is all too familiar and reaches for the phone to call for an ambulance.  Santana is already helping her father sit up.

She dresses quickly, taking over care giving duties while Santana does the same.

Fresh from their respective graduations at Brandeis and Boston College, Noah and Quinn arrive at Beth Israel Medical Center instead of the apartment.  She and Santana kiss Tomás’ cheeks one last time while their best friends watch from the doorway.

Ten days later, on a sunny day in May, Rachel sits on an uncomfortable folding chair in Lima, Ohio, dressed in black from head to toe, her body pressed tightly against that of a stoic Santana.  She holds her best friend’s hand while Quinn wraps and arm around the Latina’s shoulders; Noah rests his hand on Rachel’s knee.

She places a stone at her daddy’s gravestone and traces his name with tenderness.  “Joel would be so proud,” Quinn says.  Rachel rests her forehead against the cool marble for another moment before she lets Quinn guide her back to the car.

That night she lies awake in bed, arms around Santana’s waist, and wonders if this is how it will be the rest of her life, if every accomplishment will come at a tragic cost.

Rachel hopes that is not the case.  The only thing she has left to lose- the only _person_ \- is the one she can’t afford to live without.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-two years old when she lands her first major role on Broadway.**

She is Éponine.

She is not the lead, but Rachel relates much more to the lovesick and tragic Éponine than the delicate object of Marius’ affections, Cosette.  She sets tickets aside for her “family”; Max and his wife, Rosalie, are the only blood relatives who can make it.

Santana sits dead center in the second row.  Quinn, an ambitious first year student at Columbia Law School and executive assistant to the senior partner of a successful litigation firm, and her Fordham University associate English professor girlfriend, Caroline, sit to her left; Noah, an architect, takes the spot to her right.  Rachel feels them when she steps on stage for the first time and when she sings that night, she sings for them.

They meet her at the stage door, bouquets of flowers in their arms and smiles on their faces.  Noah picks her up and swings her around; Rachel laughs brightly even though she is dizzy from the spinning.  Quinn hugs her tightly and the softness of Caroline’s voice, combined with her charming Southern accent, puts Rachel at ease.

Santana watches the interaction with interest.  When it’s her turn to congratulate the diva, Santana sneaks an arm around Rachel’s waist, kisses the diva’s cheeks, forehead, nose, and doesn’t let go of Rachel the rest of the night.

The next morning, all the major newspapers praise Rachel’s performance.

_________

  
**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-four years old when she wins her first Tony Award.**

She is certain that she is dreaming when she hears her name.

Beside her, Santana smiles, claps and cheers.  The Latina pulls her into a fierce embrace, catches the corner of Rachel’s mouth when she kisses Rachel’s cheek, and pushes Rachel out of her seat and towards the stage.

Somehow, though surrounded by hundreds of people, Rachel sees only one.  She clutches at her award with pride.

This is proof.

Proof that every insult, every taunt and push and shove, and every single freezing cold Slushie did not stop her from becoming who she wanted to be.  A small part of her, the leftover pettiness from her adolescence, hopes Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones are choking on their cheap wine at this very moment.

She thanks the producers, the director, the choreographer and her co-stars.  She thanks Barbra for setting the standard in 1964.

“Thank you,” Rachel chokes out again.  “I’ve been singing along to ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’ since I was four years old and while I _hoped_ that I would one day get to sing it in front of thousands of people on Broadway, I never expected to earn one of these for doing so.  I want to thank Quinn, Caroline and Noah for all of your support.  To my family who is watching over me: Daddy, Bubbie, Zayde, Tata, I love you and miss you all _so_ much.  Thank you for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.”

She takes a quick breath before rushing to complete her speech before she gets cut off by the music.  “And last but never, ever least, thank you to my best friend in the entire world, Santana, for putting up with me for the past nine years, holding my hand through the tough times, sharing my joy through the good, and never letting me give up.  I love you.”

That night she celebrates her win with a late dinner and champagne toast on the terrace of her new apartment in the Upper West Side.  Rachel kicks off her shoes, curls up against Noah, and watches as Santana and Caroline discuss Whitman prose while Quinn mixes drinks at the bar.

In the interest of fairness, Santana is forced to give up her bed to Quinn and Caroline so that Noah can sleep in the guest room.  She bunks with Rachel for the night.

Santana pretends that she is inconvenienced; she doesn’t tell them that she’s been crawling into bed with Rachel since she was sixteen.

And yet, somehow, they all know.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-five years old when she realizes that she’s been in love with Santana López for nearly ten years.**

She gets a call from St. Luke’s when she’s in the middle of rehearsal and doesn’t even think once, much less twice, about announcing to the director that she’s leaving.  She practically runs from the theater to the hospital and it’s not until she’s bursting through the Emergency Room doors that she realizes that it’s been snowing all the way and she left her coat back in her dressing room.

Rachel doesn’t know what happened, but she adamantly refuses to consider the possibility of losing Santana.  God cannot be this cruel to her; He cannot demand this kind of payment for every one of her accomplishments.  Besides, Rachel would gladly give back her Tony and the Grammy she won earlier this year if it meant keeping the person she loves most at her side.

When she steps into Santana’s room, she lets out an audible sigh of sheer joy and relief and then proceeds to cry.  Santana is looking up at her with concern; after all, should she _really_ be crying over a broken arm? But Rachel doesn’t care.  She flings her purse into the lone visitor’s chair and climbs into the narrow hospital bed beside Santana.

“It was just a car accident,” Santana whispers against her forehead.  “Some idiot was too busy scarfing down a hot dog to hit the brakes.  I’m okay, mami.”

Rachel looks up at her and is suddenly hit by a bolt of comprehension.   _Finally_ , she hears Daddy’s voice echo in her head, _Your Eureka moment_.

She presses her lips against Santana’s and smiles when Santana pulls away slightly and sighs against her mouth before kissing her again.

“I love you,” she says.  Her voice is steady and clear.

The corner of Santana’s mouth quirks up into a smug smirk, “I know.”  The smirk softens, morphs into a bright grin.  “I’ve loved you for a long time now.  I was just waiting for the realization stick to hit you upside the head, too.”

Rachel laughs and kisses Santana again.  When Santana gets released and they go home that evening, Rachel pulls Santana into her room.

Forty-eight hours later, Santana’s room is dubbed the second guest room.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-six years old when she marries the love of her life.**

It took a long while but the state of New York finally woke up and lived up to its reputation for equality and legalized same-sex marriage in 2011.  Slowly but surely the tide has been turning all across the country since then, and though there are still a few holdovers mostly in the Bible Belt, Rachel is glad that she can now walk into City Hall holding Santana’s hand as Rachel Berry and exit as Mrs. López.

The ceremony is small but elegant.

Neither bride has a father to walk her down the aisle nor a mother sitting on the front row, handkerchief in hand.  No siblings utter encouragements as they get ready in separate bedrooms of Noah’s Water Mill, Long Island, home.

But Quinn helps her into a flawless strapless Oscar de la Renta gown and fastens Bubbie’s pearl necklace around Rachel’s neck.

Downstairs, Santana receives similar help from Noah, who zips up her Marchesa dress and hands her the last pair of earrings her papi gifted her.

And when she stands under the chuppah next to Santana thirty minutes later, with Rabbi Daum; Quinn; Caroline; Noah; and their friends from NYU, the theater, and Santana’s hedge fund firm; and Father Joe watching, Rachel promises to love and honor her wife forever.  She is not ashamed to admit that she cries when Santana vows to do the same.

Quinn’s toast as maid of honor brings the room to happy tears while Noah’s best man speech makes the brides blush and the guests break into raucous laughter.

It’s the wedding Rachel never knew she wanted- intimate, informal, _joyous_ \- to the person she never thought she’d want- who happens to be the only one Rachel _needs_ \- alongside the friends she never thought she’d have.  Caroline says something about irony and fate and they all crack up because she is right.

It’s supposed to feel like the start of something new, but Rachel confesses to Santana that, with the exception of the ceremony, which made it _official_ , everything seems like business as usual.

Santana raises an eyebrow and takes her wife’s hand while the two sit in the backseat of the car that is taking them to LaGuardia the morning after.

“Duh,” she retorts.  “It’s been you and me against the world for a long time now, mami.”

She laughs, nods in agreement, and kisses Santana for the duration of the car ride.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is twenty-eight years old when she achieves her dream of becoming an EGOT winner.**

She has two Tonys, a Grammy, an Emmy, and a couple of Drama Desk Awards under her belt when she walks down the red carpet rolled out across Hollywood Boulevard.

Decked out in a stunning Chloe dress and jewelry worth much more than she dares to guess, Rachel answers questions about her dress, her jewels, and the beautiful woman by her side.  She introduces Santana as her wife to the media because, despite having successful careers- hers as a theatre actress and Santana’s as a wunderkind investor and money manager- it isn’t until _now_ that Rachel’s life will be under mass media scrutiny.

The ceremony is long and she delights in heading to the bar with Santana whenever possible.  She has just resumed her seat when her category is announced.  She is shocked, once again, to hear her name because, don’t these people know that girls like her don’t win when pitted up against the caliber of actress that makes up the rest of the nominees list?

This time Santana’s kiss lands square on her lips and Rachel receives a standing ovation as she makes her way up to the stage.

She thanks the production team, director, and costars.  She thanks her friends, and the merry bunch of outsiders that she is proud to call her family.

“And to my beautiful wife, Santana, thank you so much for standing by me for the last thirteen years.  This award is the last piece of my childhood dreams, but it would mean nothing without you.   _I_ would be nothing without you.   _Te adoro_.”

Three days later she gets her most coveted role on Broadway.

The revival production of _West Side Story_ that she headlines opens to such stellar reviews that their run goes from fixed to extended to open-ended.

_________

 

**Rachel Barbara Berry is thirty-one years old when her family comes together.**

The bedroom that was once Santana’s is now a nursery.

She stands next to her son’s crib watching as Asher sleeps soundly.  He is a handsome baby, tanned skin and raven locks, a button nose and full mouth.  She picks him up and walks back to her bedroom.  Santana wakes the moment she feels Rachel slip back into bed.

“It’s not time for Asher’s feeding yet,” Santana whispers as she watches Rachel settle their son between them.

Rachel smiled.  “I know.  This is all I ever _truly_ wanted, you know.  After daddy, I was afraid of what would come next; I just wanted to live in the moment, day by day, no worrying about tomorrow.  Ultimately, I just wanted to be enough for someone to stay.”

Santana threads her fingers through Rachel’s.  “You’ve always been enough, Rachel.  It just took some of us idiots time to be able to match your standards.  I‘ve kinda been in love with you for a long time, Berry; it‘s not going to change.”

“It’s López,” Rachel correctly humorously, “at least in my private life.”

Santana laughs softly so as to not wake up the slumbering baby.

“I never thought I’d get this soft,” she admits.  “If the sixteen-year-old me could see this moment she’d gag from the syrupiness dripping from my pores.”

“You made your secretary cry yesterday,” Rachel reminds her wife kindly.  “Somehow I find that your reputation has remained fairly intact.”

“Touché.”

The two remain quiet for several minutes.

Santana runs her thumb across Rachel’s engagement ring.  “What are you thinking about?”

Rachel smiles and kisses Asher’s head.  “Tomorrow.”


End file.
